Supporting a loved one in eating disorder recovery through the holiday season
’Tis the season to be jolly, right? Well, for most it can be a season of joy and celebration, for others recovering from an eating disorder, it can feel like absolute torture to attend food-focused gatherings. It’s important to bring awareness to the fact that this season can be a challenging time of the year for some. Initiating the conversation can allow for space to think about how to cope in the best ways— besides knowing a situation will be difficult gives us the upper hand to plan effectively.
Helpful Tips:
Offer to sit next to them during meal time.
While sitting down for a meal, shift the focus away from discussing food, diets, physical appearance and identify a more neutral topic to discuss. It’s the holiday season, and there are more messages to spend time reflecting on rather than the food at the table.
Be mindful of discussing any of your own body discomfort. For example, refraining from using phrases such as “I shouldn’t have eaten that, or I feel so full.” It’s important not to place judgment out there associated with what a person has eaten.
Identify and plan for other activities not involving food, such as playing a game, watching a show, or establishing a new non-food related tradition. Making new associations with the time of the year can facilitate new memories and emotions.
Explore potential boundaries to help with self-preservation. Remember boundaries act as a fence to prevent others from impeding on our personal peace. So seeing that someone isn’t talking to Aunt Sara, who is making comments about other family member’s weight, is understandable.
Create an exit plan—just in case things go awry.
Last, but not least. Validate! Sometimes all we want to hear as people are the words “I understand or I see that this is hard.” Also, don’t forget to validate yourself throughout this process because navigating the unknown as a support person can be difficult too.
